YOU DON’T OWE YOUR PARENTS ANYTHING
IT WAS THEIR CHOICE TO HAVE, KEEP AND RAISE YOU BUT IT WASN’T YOUR CHOICE TO BE THEIR CHILD
ANY EXPECTATIONS OR IDEALS THEY TRY AND ENFORCE ON YOU ARE BULLSHIT IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THEM
THEY SHOULD ACCEPT THEIR CHILD AS THEY ARE NOT JUDGE THEM ON A MINOR DETAIL THAT DOESN’T AFFECT THEIR LIFE
DO NOT FEEL BAD IF YOU AREN’T THE PERFECT CHILD YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU SHOULD BE
All I ever want to be in life is a role model.
I want children to look up to me and wish to be like me. I want parents to look at me and appreciate me more than my parents ever have. I want people to look at me and think, Damn, he’s got his life together.
I just want to be good, God damnit.
I don’t smoke or drink to set an example to little kids. I pursue happiness over everything to show that happiness is what makes the world go round. I’m a cheerleader to represent the face of many organizations and to show I’m fearless. I was an honor student because I loved learning. I was involved in performing arts because I appreciate such complex, yet simplistic beauty.
I try, I really do..
I just want to be good..
The other day, I was talking to one of my coworkers about an attractive man that I would wish to talk to. And I’m terrified of talking to people. So one thing she said to me that made me rethink everything about my approach on relationships was:
What if he’s your soulmate?
Sometimes.. I have to remind myself that I’m not normal.
I love and appreciate my friends because they make me feel normal.
And, I feel accepted and I feel like I belong.
But, at the end of the day, I lay in bed and think about how I’m different than all of them.
I’m not a person you could describe to someone who has never met me.
Well, you could. But you’d use the word “gay”.
And.. I should werk it, but.. Bottom line, that’s who I am. And I am a minority.
And I am part of a certain group that many people “fear”.
It’s an interesting process that children go through.
Not children, but rather.. Teenagers.
We finish high school and we’re thrust into the “real world”. Which isn’t the real world at all considering approximately 75% of high school graduates are still fully financially supported by their parents. Straight out of high school.. It is assumed that each child should know what they want to be, and if they don’t, their life is already a couple of years behind. It’s a sad thought.
And not only that… Life is short. Every individual with education dedicates about 20-25 years to education. That’s nearly a quarter, or 33% (according to the average life span in the US), of an individual’s life.
And throughout this WHOLE process, adults eagerly nag children about what they want to be when they grow up. Eagerly guessing what this child is going to be. Waiting.
In a way.. Teenagers are eggs. Adults pick at our shells and try to find out what we’re going to hatch to become and the second we hatch, we’d tell them our future occupation.
It’s a little sad to think about it. We make career choices based off of income and happiness. But for the first time.. I’m starting to admit to myself that I just want to be happy.
Just want to be happy.
And there’s no career for that. I can’t get paid for smiling or laughing or having fun.
I want to live with money. But I couldn’t be a doctor, lawyer, or a surgeon. I would hold people’s lives in my hands too often and that’d destroy me emotionally.
I love baking and I wish to open my own cafe. But I would throw away chances for travel because of the low promise of income.
I love fashion and I want to be a part of a fashion magazine. But education for fashion is limited and there aren’t any reputable Universities that hold fashion merchandising majors. (And reputation counts).
I’ve lost all motivation to even continue with my education.
I just want to live.
When I become close friends with people, I become happy knowing I can argue and debate with them.
And this question is always something I ask.
First.. Let me define some key terms and outline certain ideas. Intelligent, aware of the world good or bad, people are normally sad because they see all the darkness in the world. While naive - or unaware - and happy people are happy because of this lack of understanding regarding the world’s darkness.
Typically.. Intelligent people work towards a long term goal that builds their happiness eventually, but they run into a great deal of sorrow on the way. While.. Naive people work towards short term goals that make them happy in that moment.
Personally, I would like to be naive and happy. Just because I’m intelligent (eh) and sad right now, and it sucks. I’m not saying naive people lack the skills to think, but because I’m not oblivious to my environment and the world, I let my thoughts consume me. And through all these thoughts, I study people. I study their actions towards me and what thoughts and events led up to these actions.
It’s more than an understanding of the world.. It’s an understanding of human relations.